Crap
Since my whole life is a total disaster.

Not going to share details but my life sucks now. I now truly believe that friends are more important than family. Family believe in losing face but friends don't. Not sharing details about what has happened in my life but let's just say I'm not celebrating Hari Raya this year. If you guys do want to come over, I don't mind lah. Just that I'm not celebrating it as a family.

I really enjoy the company of my friends than anyone else now. The situation at home can drive me up the wall, my close mates should know about it. TR01 and the rest of TRM, you guys rock! Not forgetting my old secondary school mates, fencing club and also those whom I've not mentioned. Sounds like an award ceremony lol.

I now know how's it like to live in poverty and no one cares about you. Not even your own blood father. I hope I can stand up on my feet again when school reopens and I hope I can find love or that love finds me. Always wanted to experience the joy of falling and being in love but was never privilaged enough to. I hope I do soon enough.

If I've been MIA once in awhile and you are pissed about it, I'm sorry, but there's so much going on in my life that I can even driven me into an asylum. This is to you my friends.

Alakazam
11:59 PM

Anyways... feel like talking rot.

I realize I have been single and never been attached. Such a crappy feeling and to rethink I rejected 2 relationships because of friendship and because I found her irritating.

This equals to I am so hard to please. Yeah, especially when it comes to women. Argh! Some more most of the fencing team girls in Singapore cannot make it. NP got prettier girls liao. haha. Also seems that the more attractive ones are already taken or simply too old for me.

Love ar is so hard to find. Don't mistake ar, I'm not looking for sex. I'm looking for love. I feel so lonely most of the time lah. Don't have anyone to share my problems with and such. So crappy. Maybe my legs are too long or I'm too funny looking like Pei Shan says. Haha. I don't look like malay chinese or indian. ROFL. It's so funny when I go on the streets and people can ask me if I'm actually chinese. I got that twice already.

Who can blame them anyways. I've got sexy sleepy eyes! hahaha. I am very shuai just wearing my contact lenses. Haha. Having this mixed look. Maybe it's easier for me to land a job wearing contacts.

Anyways I doubt I'll be in a relationship until I'm financially stable. My criteria for girls is simple

1. Must be pretty
2. Chinese prefered
3. Should be cute
4. Don't need to be hot also can
5. Must be matured thinking

But still? Probably it's harded to please girls with my empty pockets also.

Alakazam
3:02 AM

Worked today. Waitering is fun man. Wayyy better than stewarding.

I'd rather be a steward now than during IMF, at least I can see more girls. It was some arts fest award thingy, saw some celebreties. Pearl Forss looks really good in really life, saw this artsy Suria actor, even served him and Bernard Lim. Didn't serve him though.

Anyways, I wasn't good at glasses. Did clearing and food butlering later. Anyways, there was this ACS girl. Damn funny. She's okay looking but I don't like ACS girls. I just get the idea that they are too buzy with girl stuff and books. When I was serving the Mushroom Ragu, she was like following. I thought she wanted then I asked her but she didn't want. Then Later she took one and kept tailing me. LOL.

And there was this lady when I was serving the Papadum with mango chutney. She said that stupid woman walked too fast and she couldnt get the chutney. Haha rofl. I think it was Pui Yin. Anyways I thought I would be spared from doing cleaning up since I was waitering lol I was wrong. 12 hours work. Still not paid yet. crap.

Kinda sick of my parents. All they care about is money. When they get money, I don't get it even if they owe me alot. I lent 1k plus to them and still have yet to return me. Lent even my binnale money and IMF money. Plus I'm stuck at home like in prison. Even penniless lohrz. And still can complain complain. Crappy man. I don't deserve this.

Alakazam
2:26 AM

My first competition. I did better than expected though. Our bladework suck but foot work surpassed most of the rest.

The last bout was unforgettable. Stupid ref was on the the other team's side. Leanard lost 6- nil to a wuss. I lost because the ref didn't know how to precide and so did Leanard. Then it was my turn again. I literally slaughtered the wuss 15-3. I hit him ever 2 seconds and bent my blade to make it as painfully as he can ever imagine. I press him on with a savre's footwork and with the precision of a foilist.

Everyone turned to look at our bout. It's like a madhouse! I'm running wild and mad on a killing rampage just poking at every moment I had, charging and such. Penalties? What penalties? I played fairly, no collision and such, just slaughtering.

Muahaha! Everyone looked at me in awe after the match. To think I slaughtered him 15-3, I felt like god. Even Joel asked me to cool down but who the fuck cares! No one cared if the president is totally wrong.

Damn I enjoyed slaughtering the wuss.

I broke a blade, actually I attacked a NTU student and the thing just snapped in the air and flew abit. I still had the point though. Muahahaha... no you know. Don't ever make me mad. especially if I'm wielding a weapon.

Alakazam
11:54 PM

Yeah! I'm here again. So how much I have missed writing in this little spot of mine. Lots of things have happened lately, lots and lots actually. I can't actually describe using words how much has happened.

My birthday was fantastic. Probably the most fantastic one I ever had actually. Thanks to my class and also to my course mates. Never expected that my friends would actually present me something and even bought a cake. And to think I was feeling really down that day. And also as I didn't bring money as I was broke, my mates treated me to lunch also.

Eh, Fencing club also good. You guys actually bought me cake. Less, but still sweet of you guys. Samuel , Zhi Kai , Eliza and Germaine. Thanks!

Then there's IMF and Biennale. Fun man. I never expected that there will be so many chio bu around during the arts festivals. And then IMF! Whooo! I actually said I was getting out of IMF with my virginity lost since I felt so dead beat. But I didn't lah... haha just some jokes with you stewarding guys haha.

And yeah I never seen the more fairer or in the Singaporean Context, the chio side of my friends. Oh yeah, I've never expected my superiors to have some chio bu's also. And most of them were nice too! Letting us drink the lychee Martini and stuff.

And I felt so rich at the end of IMF. Taking a champagne bathe to celebrate. haha. :p

Crap. I've got fencing friendlies tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Alakazam
3:27 AM

My birthday is coming on ... find out your self. Not expecting much. I haven't gotten presents for a long long time. I never got anything for valentines, birthdays a little this and that but as they say, the thought counts more. Doesn't matter how small the gift is as long it's given with a sincere heart. Anyways, if you want my wish list. I'll do my birthday wish list :D

1. Ferrari! As in Acer Ferrari! Even the old one is nice!
2. Money. LOL, as if. A job lah.
   
3. Fencing stuffs!
4. A hot date
5. A cute girl
6. More sleep!
7. More fencing training!
8. World Peace!
9. To go out with friends! All expense paid!
   
10. Check out a great jazz pub! I'm 18 this year!
11. A paid meal at a restaraunt. Fast food will do lah, haha.
    
12. All paid meal. Don't think small, I eat alot!

That's it lah. Not too much isn't it? I don't think I'm demanding. Except that world peace part... haha.

Alakazam
12:19 AM

I feel wierd. I was told of something that I should be crying or be jumping for joy but I'm just my normal self. Wierd huh? It's like someone told you oh nevermind.

Seems I'm a cold person now, officially. Been single forever, been through all sorts of family problems, been all sorts of friendship problems and I'm officially cold. Guess I don't have heart anymore.

Maybe I mature too fast? Or I'm depressed? Or I'm thinking of something else. Either ways, I better improve on my emotional aspects. It's not good to be cold. Or... nevermind.

Alakazam
12:11 AM

I finally somehow contacted Shymin yesterday lol . I haven't seen her in years and years. But she's so damn power lah. Go Nanyang Girls then go Hwa Chong. I never expected the girl whom I waited for the bus with 7 years ago to be a prodigy. And she looks so different now. Looks less babyface like, less cute but more chio. haha...

I'm still hunting for some of my old friends lah. I met with alot of them in poly, some from my primary school even. I really wonder what happened to those in Sri Utama. I think to them also, I disappeared from the face of this earth. Move to Singapore then gone. I think they won't remember me already... 10 long years !

I still remember some of them. Jessica and erm. LOL! Don't blame me! I can only remember English names well! Not my fault also. Celine also says she can remember English names most of the time.

Today boring. MIEC. I passed, thankfully. I didn't even study properly. Just looked through my book. Flung the MCQ mostly. Some I just hantam, don't even know how to do. Still can get 29, not bad already. ITR... please! I want another A!

Alakazam
2:43 PM

I have been having long days in school, most of the time spents is wasted on endless waiting for CCA. And since school starts early and fencing ends late, I don't even have time to log on.

On Thursdays, since there wasn't any MIEC tutorial, I spent my time hanging around. Went to eat first with some of my classmates, many left... then headed to OCOM tutorial. Slack, 01s weren't around in numbers, I sat with the 02s then played crazy taxi and chat crap. Sat with Huiting and Cathy and yes we weren' t paying attention in lecture.

So after that I went to accompany the 02s to block 72 then me and Christabelle went over to canteen 1 but I detoured to pray. Then went to eat with Ju Chi and her friend who apparently in pharmaceuticals but looks like from ECH. haha. Christabelle was having lunch with a guy lah and 2 of them alone. Don't want to be a lamp post lah.

Then went underpass met with Leanne and chatted with the girls' class. Long chat with Jennifer and gang lah. Someone thought I was a tanned chinese. LOL. And then, saw some yr 2s and hanged out with them. LOL, the bullied me lohrz. There was this Japanese lady needing some facilitators for the foreign students and all point finger at me. Some more they wanted to draw on my face using marker. OMFG! Crazy man. So GL. Sat down chat all the way until our CCAs were starting. I got changing with the guys and then went to CCA.

So yeah, we went running but now it's more like cycling style of overtaking and stuff. more fun lah haha. Actually there was a photographer taking pictures of us. For some school mag. Went up and did training. Did some footwork and stuff, then bladework. We wore the new suits, no breeches then did parry and riposte. And then sparred with the attacker defender game. Lame man, blade got caught in my shorts and my sparring partner hit my dick. LOL. Then yeah went home, eat , bathe , prayed and sleep. Have to wake up early tomorrow.

Today's S&W okay. So super slack lah. Do footwork then I had to demo some bladework and stuff. I can see some of the girls like want to faint already lah haha. Teruk man, if go Holiday training , they die lohrz. 2000 parries! Ouch! Vibrating hand.

Slacked before prayers with some 02s. CATS sucked as usual. At least the morning brunch with some of my CATS classmates was interesting. haha.

I might our SP err. TRMs. Was so shocked when I saw Yan Ni lol . Crapped with them. Val's best friend also there lol, same course forgot her name. Haha, funny people. They went for cruise already!

And I'm supposed to do MIEC tutorial now. Super lazy. Later can? :p ... I guess I won't be updating much these days lah. I'm so lazy to come online. I'd rather sleep. So far I haven't failed anything. Having gotten back my Micro Econs and ITR tutorials though. So let's pray hard!

Alakazam
9:25 PM

We met for CIP PBL. My PBL group is cool! The only few I can actually click well with lah. I mean, I don't know. Pretty good friends with them... I hope!

So we ended up chatting with each other in the end. Me, Yee Shan , Sook Fang. Nice lah. The good old days. Class stuff and such. And yes. Girls will be girls. I know it's not wrong, but I just feel bad talking about it yeah?

And yes. Sook Fang said I should settle down. As it get a clique I'm fond of. It sounded like I should get married lah. I think many heard the Christabell wants to switch classes. And Yee Shan wants to follow suit if she does switches... leaving me. Awe please please don't switch, you guys can hang out with me if you guys want? Please please don't switch classes!

I mean I do get along with my mates lah. Just that I kinda feel awkward with some of them. the girls , they are girls! I can't get along with them. Some too quiet, some too studious and most of the time girl talk makes me feel all the more awkward. Overall they are too quiet!
and the guy mixes girls group. I know, seriously maybe it's just they are used to it , it's not their fault but they speak chinese most of the time. I feel all the more losted.

So, you all know why I'm with Yee Shan most of the time. But she was a BHGS with Wei Qian , Siew Fong, Shu Xian etc. Don't know all of them. Feeel more extra. LOL. I'm an extra. I change cliques like I change clothes. Crap man. I still have the crazy fencing people though. They're cool. Like one big happy family. I don't know if they are happy though.

Alakazam
10:57 PM

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